To the girl who’s being manipulated & doesn’t even realize it:
he’s tied your thoughts
into so many knots
that you can’t even think straight
first he says he never has time for you
so you end up being the one
who bends over backwards
to make it work
and then he tells you to get your own life
making you feel bad for wanting
to spend time together
knot one, done.
➰
he tells you you’re being paranoid
and dramatic about that girl on his feed
making you feel like you’re the one
who’s weak with too many insecurities
knot two, you pray it’s not true.
➰➰
he doesn’t know how to go a day
without getting high because
he’s too afraid to face the pain in the low
so he turns it around on you
making you feel bad
for not wanting to get high too
knot three, you’re now unable to see.
➰➰➰
he rarely tells you he loves you anymore
he never texts to say something sweet
so here you are pouring your heart
over a screen, begging to be seen
but he doesn’t care
he tells you that if you need to be reminded
that he loves you, then you’re the one who lacks confidence
and that maybe you should just leave
knot four, what’s three more?
➰➰➰➰
he claims that he will change
as he spits out the lie day after day
that he’ll be a better guy
but then he continues to do
the very things that he said he’d stop
and then he calls you impatient
for not waiting for him to be better
knot five, you’re no longer feeling alive.
➰➰➰➰➰
you can’t even say a word to him
without thinking twice about it first
you’re afraid that you’ll waste
his time with your words
they mean everything to you and nothing to him
so you keep overthinking every word
that comes into your head
you’ve learned to keep your mouth shut
because you think it’s better if you just leave it unsaid
then he yells at you for never saying how you feel
when he’s the one who invoked so much fear
to speaking to what your heart hears
knot six, this isn’t an easy fix.
➰➰➰➰➰➰
his need for control
pours over your body and into your soul
you don’t want to do certain things
but its the only way
that he makes you feel wanted
so you give in and let him in
all while he makes you think
the only time you’re lovable is after dark
knot seven, you’ve lost your sense of heaven.
➰➰➰➰➰➰➰
he keeps tying your thoughts into this mess
and before you know it
your unable to think in a straight line
you don’t even know that your thoughts
are being controlled as he weaves
each lie so perfectly in place
making you feel like you were
the one who created this mess,
but you have to know that no matter
how many deceptive knots
have been tied
around your heart,
making it hard to breathe
and even harder to see,
if you let Jesus – He has this way of undoing
every lie that you were ever told
with a love and peace that will fill your soul,
the kind that your pretty little heart hasn’t felt in so long
and it’ll make you realize just how much
better you deserve than
what you keep settling for
please know that your heart was made for a love
that’s built on Biblical truth,
instead of a pile of manipulative lies.
I follow you on Instagram. This is my first time seeing your blog. I can relate to this so much. I’ve been in both roles, the abused and abuser, neither are comfortable. But I like how you staged this, because really that’s what it’s like, tiny knots. Thanks for sharing,
Tierra